At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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