maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize