So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
