Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
