I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize