Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize