I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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