Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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