dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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