She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
