I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Randomize
