Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I got inside last night via doggy door
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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