I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?