Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.

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(917) And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater. http://tfl.nu/gzmt

Replies (2) Good night (905) Bad night (465) Order T-Shirt
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(949): View more from California

Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?

(619): View more from California

hahahahahahahahahahaha

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(949): Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth? (619): hahahahahahahahahahaha http://tfl.nu/hwol

Replies (45) Good night (3195) Bad night (915)
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(917): View more from New York City

half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.

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(917): half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country. http://tfl.nu/tafy

Replies (261) Good night (20353) Bad night (1969) Order T-Shirt
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(985): View more from Louisiana

He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"

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(985): He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it" http://tfl.nu/q1ud

Replies (49) Good night (2096) Bad night (9191) Order T-Shirt
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(309): View more from Illinois

it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...

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(309): it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with... http://tfl.nu/q2va

Replies (23) Good night (6070) Bad night (1074) Order T-Shirt
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(313): View more from Michigan

My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.

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(313): My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission. http://tfl.nu/o1g8

Replies (9) Good night (3844) Bad night (711)
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(618): View more from Illinois

This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.

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(618): This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money. http://tfl.nu/bov0

Replies (3) Good night (2039) Bad night (512) Order T-Shirt
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(330): View more from Ohio

Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.

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(330): Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay. http://tfl.nu/7dwn

Replies (4) Good night (1654) Bad night (724) Order T-Shirt
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Why do you have to go to the hospital?

(407): View more from Florida

I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me

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(321): Why do you have to go to the hospital? (407): I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me http://tfl.nu/224u

Replies (7) Good night (753) Bad night (1716)
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(541): View more from Oregon

Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.

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(541): Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock. http://tfl.nu/5hls

Replies (13) Good night (1448) Bad night (615) Order T-Shirt
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(770): View more from Georgia

Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...

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(770): Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me... http://tfl.nu/5vx9

Replies (2) Good night (419) Bad night (2208)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.

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(262): I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole. http://tfl.nu/sdc1

Replies (9) Good night (1684) Bad night (349) Order T-Shirt
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(970): View more from Colorado

She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.

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(970): She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic. http://tfl.nu/fis2

Replies (3) Good night (997) Bad night (242) Order T-Shirt
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.

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(608): I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich. http://tfl.nu/h4vr

Replies (3) Good night (210) Bad night (631) Order T-Shirt
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(509): View more from Washington

Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.

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(509): Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it. http://tfl.nu/l3y2

Replies (2) Good night (380) Bad night (160)

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