Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize