Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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