Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
