I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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