in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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