at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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