It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
