Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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