Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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