I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
