new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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