Texts From Last Night

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  (970): View more from Colorado

  You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.

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  (970): You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip. http://tfl.nu/rzap
  Replies (3) Good night (2866) Bad night (648)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds

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  (508): your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds http://tfl.nu/5eyd
  Replies (11) Good night (4815) Bad night (868)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it

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  (334): I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it http://tfl.nu/u4cv
  Replies (14) Good night (4960) Bad night (1106)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.

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  (412): girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid. http://tfl.nu/vm0r
  Replies (10) Good night (3530) Bad night (641)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."

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  (757): At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP." http://tfl.nu/p091
  Replies (298) Good night (74730) Bad night (2812)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.

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  (281): Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others. http://tfl.nu/smz5
  Replies (6) Good night (3567) Bad night (766)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....

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  (732): say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today.... http://tfl.nu/1sxc
  Replies (3) Good night (831) Bad night (1314)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?

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  (717): Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear? http://tfl.nu/yvgn
  Replies (3) Good night (1153) Bad night (719)
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  (779): View more from Illinois

  I smell like gasoline and adventure.

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  (779): I smell like gasoline and adventure. http://tfl.nu/rkdf
  Replies (18) Good night (2504) Bad night (662)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection

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  (651): My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection http://tfl.nu/v7yu
  Replies (2) Good night (803) Bad night (909)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?

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  (615): She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable? http://tfl.nu/4ysm
  Replies (7) Good night (658) Bad night (1160)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator

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  (914): Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator http://tfl.nu/9f4r
  Replies (2) Good night (804) Bad night (315)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?

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  (360): I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years? http://tfl.nu/xhbr
  Replies (3) Good night (1327) Bad night (346)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.

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  (423): I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves. http://tfl.nu/s92y
  Replies (2) Good night (662) Bad night (294)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering

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  (207): Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering http://tfl.nu/ixi4
  Replies (1) Good night (699) Bad night (308)

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