Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.

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  (212): chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble. http://tfl.nu/y9yr
  Replies (46) Good night (8200) Bad night (1192)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.

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  (416): The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look. http://tfl.nu/2p75
  Replies (13) Good night (711) Bad night (3321)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack

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  (540): then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack http://tfl.nu/52qh
  Replies (14) Good night (1524) Bad night (3209)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  They are making fun of natty and blackberries.

  (646): View more from New York

  Tell them they are ugly.

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  (856): They are making fun of natty and blackberries. (646): Tell them they are ugly. http://tfl.nu/s2y1
  Replies (8) Good night (3898) Bad night (1080)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices

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  (207): Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices http://tfl.nu/clic
  Replies (34) Good night (7372) Bad night (1167)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark

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  (815): Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark http://tfl.nu/xtgk
  Replies (4) Good night (2937) Bad night (748)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?

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  (401): you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react? http://tfl.nu/0set
  Replies (4) Good night (2497) Bad night (1406)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day

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  (985): I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day http://tfl.nu/t2zq
  Replies (10) Good night (3418) Bad night (896)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever

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  (775): she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever http://tfl.nu/gkhb
  Replies (11) Good night (566) Bad night (2976)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.

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  (804): We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt. http://tfl.nu/2b1c
  Replies (7) Good night (702) Bad night (1843)
• Favorite

  (655): View more from

  Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?

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  (655): Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall? http://tfl.nu/cvrt
  Replies (12) Good night (1748) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions

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  (513): He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions http://tfl.nu/8lj3
  Replies (1) Good night (491) Bad night (202)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.

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  (425): I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet. http://tfl.nu/8dod
  Replies (4) Good night (617) Bad night (228)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA

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  (406): WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA http://tfl.nu/iwiz
  Replies (4) Good night (635) Bad night (202)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...

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  (630): Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals... http://tfl.nu/ojmb
  Replies (1) Good night (432) Bad night (200)

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