Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?