Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
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