Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
