dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just found puke in my bra..
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
