no, he came in my armpit
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
