So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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