I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
