I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
