you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
