I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
