matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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