well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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