what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
