its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
