i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
