Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
