Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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