Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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