but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
