Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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