David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
ugly people sure do ruin things
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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