NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
