Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
