Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize