dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
