Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
