our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
