Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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