When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
No subtext here. People are naked.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
