Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
