....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
