I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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