I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
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