didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
