I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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