I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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