I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
