I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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