I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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