im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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