Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
