I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
