STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
