So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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