trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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